I'm not Dead (or look, I can totally do it when no one is looking)

Well it's been a while, hasn't it? Apologies, I've been in a funky place the last month or so. I've been finding it hard to spread myself to cover even my basic needs since I started at my new job. Oh yeah, I'm employed now. Woohoo!

Despite my sometimes negative feelings about my job, I am grateful that in these hard times I have finally found somewhere that actually wants me. Plus... I have an interview this coming Friday for a similar position (basically a lab technician role) but at a university, rather than sixth form college like my current job. I've got fingers, toes, eyes and everything else crossed that I get the university job. The pay is much better and it'll look better on my CV than working in a school environment, more industrial.

Also, I've taken my first steps towards self-sufficiency and homesteading (in a way). A week ago today I planted a few seeds (lettuce, beetroot, tomato and spring onions) in milk cartons in my kitchen window to see if I could get anything to grow. Turns out I can, sort of. Check out my lettuces and single beetroot seedling:

Beetroot

Lettuce

I think I'm going to have to thin out the lettuce soon, though I'm not exactly sure when or how so I'll be looking that up later today. Any advice is welcome.

So that's a quick update to say I'm not dead and I am in fact moving forward in life, albeit extremely slowly. Maybe that's the best I can hope for at the moment. I may fail at basic housekeeping, or doing anything beyond going to work, coming home and checking on the plants, but I am now working and I have taken the first steps to some degree of food independence. Those are exciting things to be celebrated. Those are two fewer problems than I had a month ago. For all my wallowing in depression when I am too tired to do anything much when I get home, I have achieved two very important steps and I must recognise that.

Hope you are all well and sticking to any resolutions or plans you made for yourself, even if, like me, they are taking a slightly different shape than you had intended originally.

Covered in Mud (or Immediate results are the best)

Today I've been out in my parents' garden, weeding the flower beds. From such work I derive a great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. It's nice to have instantly visible results after putting in effort. As a result my hands are stained with mud, which has worked itself around my nails. I'm hesitant to scrub it all off, because it's a nice reminder of what I've done today. However, I habitually pick at my nails, so I'll have it all out in a few minutes.

Working outside today in the fresh air and with the ground has reaffirmed my decision to pursue a life homesteading. The problems with that decision, at least for me, are that I will find it difficult to spend time doing something that only benefits myself and my family. For as long as I can remember I have had the inbuilt need to have my life be contributed to improving the world around me. Somehow I will have to find the balance between fulfilling that need, and achieving my dream of living off the land.

But that is the topic of my next post, which will be about the ethics of homesteading.

Until then.